hugs..

started with a regular post about my day but my day is so boring so i'm just going to write something that's describe me hahhaha wall a little tiny part of me..

i love hugs...friendly hugs..care hugs and boyfriend girlfriend hugs..i like it more than anything..well except shoes and bags hahahaha..it's just the save feeling that you got..when i see someone (note that this people is special!!! not just someone passing by hahaha), i just wanna know how does it feel to be hug by that person..is it the warm feeling..the cold feeling or the save feeling i always imagine? or it's just nothing..flat..no sparks..

how does it feel when you rest your head in their hugs, how their arms protect you from all danger that will come, how their hugs express their feelings..hahahah am i imagining an impossible person?? ohand dont get me wrong..the person it's a HE but not somebody in a particular or so i said..

not to mention if their sick or in trouble!! just wanna hold them and say that everything will be okay and you can count on me..hahah this is so cliche but i just feel that way when i see the person..

but what if it's just one sided..i dont wanna hug somebody and they just stand there and do nothing..not even react to my hug..

well anyway that's just a little piece of me..

so when you see me stare at you weird, looking at you weird, talking weird and smile weird..that means i imagining how does it feel to be hug by you!!!!! hahahahahahahahaha

gerbera_iris

why?why?why?

hmm..
i'm going to write something about a movie that make me cry..
weird movie that will make me cry..

but..
that i can do next time..

you should know when you hurt somebody right?
but why do men is so clueless??
anybody can give me an answer to that??
oh and yes..this is me generalizing men!!

just post a comment if you can answer that question..


gerbera_iris

good day..bad day..good day..

started with a good day..

such a bad day in the middle..

not so bad in the end..

but the middle still ruin the whole day or if i may add my whole working life..


gerbera_iris

not important to read!!

how do you know when you fell in love for somebody? are you instantly know that he's the one for you?or you know that he could take care of you?or you get jealous when some girl try to make a move on him?
okay that's probably to heavy..let's try...how do you know when you like somebody?
i'm not a risk taker..i really am not..so all my life i never made a decision that needs me to look deep inside me particularly my heart..i only need to choice what's best for me and if my heart say yes then no doubt at all.. but now i have to face some difficult decision that i know whichever i choose i will hurt someone..either it's the easy choice or the hard one..i cannot possibly stay like this forever..but i also dont want to make a decision right now or make any commitment..as cliche as it sound, i really need some time for myself..to figure out what i want and to know what i need..i dont need empty promises, i dont need words without action and i absolutely dont need somebody treating me special just for one time and forgot about it. i've been through that a lot and i dont want that to happen again.
if i didnt make a decision, it will hurt even more..not for me maybe but for the people whose waiting on me to make a decision..when somebody said that he's going to back off and make it easier foryou to make a decision..for me that's just make it even harder and painfull but maybe it's for the best? at least i'm the one who feel that way right? but then again i'm tired feeling hurt...
a friend of mine said to me stop being such an angel and be selfish for once..well i dont always think about other people feeling before mine, not that i know of..
you know what people or whoever read this blog i write..just forget what i say okay..nothing important..i'm just babling my so called life..and i'll stop before i write my whole love stories in this little tiny blog..


gerbera_iris

My Handsome Prince,

In this world full of hurt and pain,
I need someone who would help me through the rain.
To comfort me when Im sad,
Doing everything just to make me glad.

In this world I need a Brave Knight,
Who would never give up any fight.
A knight who would dry away my tears,
Telling me to overcome my fears.
I need someone who is willing to give me more,
Someone I can call my Knight In Shining Armor.....

love you always

your dear princess..

Guilt..

i hate when somebody use guilt towards me..
well hate is a strong word..
but it's still affect me very much..

some people dont know and they do that to me..
and my guilt is my pain..
that i know for sure..

but what about the one who knows and still do that to me?
the one who hurt me in purpose..
know that this is my weakness and still use it?
do you call those people smart or just cruel?

gerbera_iris

..past..

enough with the serious post (for now..)

yesterday i'm just remembering about my past..
remember in a good way..
when i was in high school, my family and i went to aussie for a vacation..
it was so much fun..
and we went to sea world and when i see everything and everyone and every animal there..
it hit me.. i want to be a marine biologist!!
i know..just caught up in the moment..
but just to imagine that happening..
it's a nice dream..
especially picturing me working there..
but like i said it's not really possible..
well first i'm not that good in biology..
second i doubt that indonesia got a marine biologist major..
that 2 thing is enough to stopping that foolish dream of mine..
but it's really nice to imagine something you know you cant do..

gerbera_iris

they always do that..

why do guys always do that?
you know what i mean..
treating you like youre special but then acting like nothing ever happened..
or we girls just overreacted??
i mean did they want to make us feel special?
or it just how they treat all girls??
come onnn guyssss make up your mindddd!!!!

Best regards..

Thanks for listening to me..
for your endless patient..
for your sincere friendship..
for your courage to remind me when i'm wrong..
for protecting me from something that might hurt me..
for advicing me when i'm going to do something wrong..
for yelling at me when i did something wrong..
for laughing at me when i did something stupid..
for repeating everything over and over again when i'm to stubborn to hear you..

thanks for everything..

now stop nagging me..
i make a post just for you!!
LOL

gerbera_iris

One quick word

I know that we went through

The good

The bad

The love

The cries

The happiness and

The heartache..

But this time the heartache just went too far..

from your side and from my side..

I hope we can work things out..

But just not now..

gerbera_iris

This Regret..

How do you feel if you have your biggest regrets haunt you forever..makes you cry everytime you remember it..makes you wish you could turn back the time..maybe for some people my regrets is a usual thing or maybe I think other people regrets are not as important as mine..
That’s why it was nice to have someone to share the same regret, not that I’m happy that something like this happen to other people..but with that person you can share your pain and tell them things that only he will understand

But I can only blame myself for my choices..

I hope is all just a cliché story and I also wish it’s just a story…But I finally can share my pain with somebody that goes through the same or maybe worst thing than me..

Thanks for listening and understanding (you know who you are) :)

gerbera_iris

..Something in my mind..

can we just please drop the act..
drop all your unmeaningful principal..
life is just beautiful..
so why can't you just enjoy it..

with me..

just tell me the truth..
no more denying and everything..

even if we know that "we" is impossible..
but what harm can be done for trying..

gerbera_iris

What if

Wishful thingking I know..

but what if somebody really love you like this..

and I don’t mean just words..

but also his heart and his a action..

I can hear her heart beat from a thousand miles 

And the heaven opens everytime she smiles 

And when I come to her that's where I belong 

Yet I run into her like a river's song 

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love 

She got a fine sense of humour when I'm feeling low down 

And when I come to her when the sun goes down 

Take away my trouble, take away my grief 

Take away my heartache in the night like a theif 

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love 

And I need her in the daytime 

And I need her in the night 

And I want to throw my arms around her 

Kiss and hug her, kiss and hug her tight 

And when I'm returning from so far away 

She give me some sweet lovin', brighten up my day 

Yet it makes me righteous, yes it makes me whole 

Yet it makes me mellow down into my soul 

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love 

                                                             -van morrison crazy love


gerbera_iris

This simple dream..

my first post should be light topic..
but..
hmmm..
enjoy reading it..

ever think about the happily ever after part of your life?
ofcourse..who doesn't..
when i think about mine..
i see house filled with kids,cats and a loving husband..
oh and a big beautiful bathroom..
but that is still way way far considering i'm only 22..

for now my happily ever after is simple..
the man i loved embrace me into his arm..
and hug me with love..
this simple dream..
this simple tought..
seem so hard to be done..

can he just stop for one minute..
look at me..
see me as a women the he loved or care..
stop all the denial and argue..
and take me in his arm..
and just hug me..
hug me like he's going to protect me from all the harm comes my way..
make me feel safe and warm..

is it that hard..

even if it is just for a minute..
or maybe two..

and even if
after that he forgot all about it..

well that's why they called it dream i guess
because is just a fairy tale..
mia favola..

gerbera_iris