random complaints..

I don't have the right to complain.. But God I'm so tired and really really hoping God get me through everything.. My problem is not as hard as other people I know especially when my blessing is bigger.. But I do need to. Get this out of my chest.. my hair is falling rapidly because of this..

I remember when work is a happy place to be.. I also remember when work,even if the job is so dreadful,I still don't mind going to the office.... Now my status is still unclear.. I haven't got my full paycheck for 5 months.. And yesterday I got a complain for the way I dress.. Cause a group of people think I didn't dress appropriate enough for work.. But instead talking to my boss, they just report me to a judge there.. The judge doesn't even know me which actually mean she never see me dress inappropriately.. But now I don't know what she think.. It hurts me cause that one day I didn't dress good enough for them and they just ruin my name because of that one day.. I really just wanna cry in my boyfriend arms.. But apparently i've got another reason to do that..

this june suppose to mean something to me.. my future with him..our future.. that's gone down the drain.. and now i just gave up, i ask him to figure this out by himself.. i can't wait forever..i cannot even wait for 2 years.. if he want to marry me next year, he had to make his decision this year or else he have to find a much younger bride that can wait for him. i really love him so much but i don't want to wait another 2 years to get married just because yesterday reason.. this pride and dignity thing.. god i just can't think about this anymore without crying..

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®