God surely want me to be happy right?

i should be happy...
especially when it's like H-12 from The E-Day..
i should be jumping for joy!!!
but why is it so hard :(

no it's not because i'm not happy for the E-day..
i really am..
really really happy..
it's just that when i'm feeling entitled to be happy..
something bad happen..
something really bad..
and this last one just freakin' crush me..
i think only God and miboyfie knows..
and let's keep it that way..
yes (huney) i know that the world doesn't revolve around me..
(actually this blog does actually revolve around me)
but it's just freakin' hard not to do the "what if's"...
and it's so hard to take hit after hit when you're supposed to be beyond happy..

i do believe that God won't give a problem more than we can handle...
and yes the wheel always turn.. you can never always be on the top..

but did i do something wrong God?


le sigh
gerberairis