Feb 4, 2009

A very Old Story Chapter II

well after that slow-motion-at-the-sidang thing, nothing much really happened between me and him..i sense that is not a big deal and so it doesnt cross my mind again until after he became my boyfriend and that's a different story :p
we still chat even if we don't meet anymore and i still tell him everything mostly about my relationship..he help me a lot..and i tell him so many secrets about my relationship that we have our own secret code when we chat, not a bunch of code word but just what will he says when he's in front of the computer.. i don't wanna tell all of my secret to somebody who pretended to be him using his computer and ID. that will be just creepy.
As time went on, i started to depend on him too much as a friend. i go to him from the smallest problem possible to the biggest one.. if I'm not remembering wrong once or twice i tried to keep my distance from him either before we graduated or after we graduated.. before we graduate, it's much more simple to keep a distance cause we didn't chat every single day or night :p and I'm occupied with my own relationship anyway. but after graduation, while in skripsi to be exact, its just impossible not to tell him everything..not to ask for his opinions or not to blabber about my problem to him cause i had to many problems with my relationship at that time. the reason i tried to keep a distance was because that my (ex) boyfriend doesn't really like me hanging too close to him. i can understand at that time, i have a boyfriend but I'm more relax with my best friend. sometimes in my mind, that me and him are friends (or best friends or whatever) so it's normal to be relax right?
case in point, i do have a guy friend now.. although not as close like me and him then,but i still feel the same relax like i use to feel with him.
Anyway, I'm glad i didn't tried too hard to keep my distance cause the storm that coming ahead in my relationship ( that's too dramatic lol ). after graduation, i started to work and that kinda cause a strain in my relationship with
my (ex) boyfriend. i'm too busy in work and i neglected my (ex) boyfriend but he also sometimes put soo much preassure on me.. well it's two way mistake. so when he finally ask for a break, i said yes. and ofcourse who else i turn into besides my future boyfriend.. i tell him every single detail, he just listened and give some comment now and then. but when i asked should i ended my relationship with my (ex) boyfriend, he never give me an ansewer. he always said that this is my decision and he don't want to make this decision for me. as for me, i already know what my decision even without asking him.. i break up with my (ex) boyfriend .. and when i tell him, he just said that as long as i made the decision all by myself, he would support me. but he also said that i will get back together with my ex in about 1 or 2 month ( he soo doesn't have faith in me as his best friend lol).
my ex and i spent 3.5 years together, breaking up is hard but for me it's just hard the first 3 weeks,part of it maybe because i still in contact with my ex. as time goes buy, i learn to love being single..having so many close guy friends and just being free apparently suites me..even if i'm only single for 3 months or so :p
at "my single days" i learned to develop to a bunch of new crush..man crush hehehehe there's my coworkers (yes not just one coworker hahaha), then this guy in australia, and of course there's this some guy who i like to call my best friend ;) i don't know when..probably around january, one or two month after i broke up with my ex, i suddenly realize.. "i think i have a little crush to my best friend" and it became "i think i really like my best friend" until in the end it became "i know i really really have a huge feeling for my best friend" oh i tell this crush to one of my other close friend from college. i think this is when i kinda stop looking at him as just my best friend, i started to consider him as a boyfriend even if i know all his flaws and he know all my darkest secrets and even when i know at that time that me and him as a couple is an impossibilty ( that's for chapter III hehehehehe)
and that saga of bestfriends - not dating bestfriends - jealousy - hiding feeling - denial - started.. and just like Katharine mcphee said
It's a typical love story
Started out as friends
We met way back when
This is just a typical love story
The boy you never wanted just steals your heart
I never saw it comin' till I fell so hard

I always made up some excuse
Saying you that weren't my type
Didn't want to face the truth
Didn't want to cross that line

'Til one day I saw you
Out of the corner of my eye
You were flirting with some girl
And inside I thought I would die
-Love Story
i didn't blame my ex to think that i already like my boyfriend before we broke up . he's my best friend after all and we're so close but i know the difference and snybody didn't need to be so judgemental.. in the end, i know the difference between me liking someone and me being somebodies best friend.. and i do start to have different feeling for him after i ended my relationship.

See you in chapter III huney.. i'm going to tell your stories with your ex's, and our oh-so-weird start of our relationship :D

Love Story,


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