Dec 30, 2007


Well, its been a really long time since I post something her, not like anyone care anyway hehehehe okay except for you huney :p

I actually wanna post my whole trip to hong kong and Singapore yesterday but haven’t got the chance to move the picture from the camera to my pc so that have to wait lol another stories will do for now..

Last Thursday is my tenth months anniversary and we have this tradition ( is 10 month too short to have a tradition? Oh well hehehehe ) we always sit together ( lately it’s in coffee bean PIM 2, smoking area) and talk about everything from the cheesiest stuff you could possibly hear to things that bug both of us for the last month. And I love this annual thing, I know we can do this any day of the month and anytime we like but this just feel so special.

And I still have something to say to him that I forget to say yesterday ( or probably to embarrass to say it in front of him ;p )
I love the way he laugh when we’re in the movies, he’s stereo sound laugh… I love the way he makes me eat popcorn when we’re in the movies.. I love the way he said he miss me.. I love the way he take care of me.. I love the way he tried to be ‘angry’ when I do something wrong.. I love the way he cut back on his smokes when I ask him.. I love the way he tease me.. I love the way he spoiled me every single day.. I love the way he get jealous but in a really really cute way and I love how he get along with my family and friends, that means so much to me.

I think that’s enough for one post.. oh and what’s love without hate ;)

I hate this month for the long time we spent apart.. Different cities.. Different island.. And different countries..

Happy tenth switi..


Your dearly beloved Girl *wink*

Nov 19, 2007


well after a long hard choice of picking what movie to watch in theater ( well not really that hard :p ) we finally decided to watch stardust and this movie is so underrated by most people.. while the fact was this movie is really enjoyable, at least by me who lovveee romantic movies..
so go watch it either on the theater or dvd's.. but i recommend theater..more sound, more alive, and more romantic..
in this movie i found this line i really really love.. it was by Yvaine, one of the main role..

You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

very good right? i cannot stop reading it :p oh and listen to the soundtrack Rule The World by Take That, two thumbs up...


Oct 29, 2007

Hanya Dirimu - Dygta

ever heard a song and tried so hard to connect your life with that song but failed so bad?? especially when you like the song very much and wonder why did you like this song so much and thinking that there's must be some connection between your life and this song that makes you like it.. well, i love this song and always wonder whats the connection..i never see it..but i think i do now.. I :x U

Hanya Dirimu - Dygta feat Meda

mencintaimu selama aku bernafas
seindah cahaya pagi
sinari hidupku

memilikimu dan aku pun percaya
kasih yg telah kau beri
membuka mataku

waktu pertama kali kusadar
kau cintaku

reff: ku takkan bisa melakukan semua
tanpa dirimu di sisiku
kau yg menggenggam hatiku

ku takkan sanggup
melewati waktu tanpamu
karena hanya dirimu yang mengerti

peluk diriku hapuskan luka
ku tak pernah berubah
karena ku memilihmu


ps. this post was not suppose to makes sense LOL

Oct 23, 2007

Celebrity look a like photos..

if i do look like Sandra bullock, molly sims, milla jovovich or Jessica alba, i don't think i will be working as technical staff..i would rather work making movies or sumthing hahahahaha and if i do look like one of them i think my boyfriend will be very over protective (oh and super happy) cause I'm that beautiful hahahahaha but playing that celebrity collage thing is fun =))



My Celebrity Look a like ( well according to this particular site that is)

Oct 4, 2007

why did i post this? lol

I know I’m clingy. I know I’m depending on you too much. I know all that sweety. And also know that this is not a good habit to keep. It’s just that I like depending on you. Always having you by my side. Especially when we met everyday. Breakfast, lunch and we go home together. for 7 months we always spent a lot of time together. Maybe that’s one thing that make me clingy. We spent a lot of time together. It’s not that I don’t like or want it. But that’s one reason that makes me depend on you. Learning from my previous relationship, I know that I have to be able to stand alone and depending on myself just in case something happen so I wont be so crush. And at that time, when I’m alone I was able to be such an independent girl. But now, how can I be one if I know that I can depend on you? That I can have you by my side every single second of my life. but I know I cannot do that,or I will be upset everytime we cannot be together for some reason. And little problems can be such big issue if I keep this clingy habit. I have to change but youre just too sweet to tell me that.
I don’t even know that I’m upset and look upset when last week we cant go home together. i shouldnt be upset cause its just one day that you cant go home with me, but hmm I don’t know. I just feel like you don’t need me.
And I have to get rid that feeling. And its not that I don’t trust you sweety..i do.. so much..just my stupid insecurities.
And why did I write all this in my blog? I have no idea hahahahahaha
I :x U so much Sweety..

Oct 3, 2007

"The Way I Do"

"The Way I Do"

Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight, I need you like the ocean needs the tide.

I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look at what you've done

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

I love you
I need you
I want you
..the way I do

(Marcos Hernandez - The way i do)

i always love when somebody dedicate a song for me..
anybody want to dedicate this one for me? *wink*



Oct 2, 2007

this quote..

i read this love quote yesterday...
and i love it..
so i will share it here :)
I Love you because you're everything to me. You are the first person i could truly tell all my feeling. You are the one i want to be with 24 hours. and you are the first one i could say love too. nothing could change that.
can you imagine how that girl feel when his boyfriend said that quote to her???
i bet she feel like she can do anything even the impossible...


Oct 1, 2007


i found my kittyyyy!!!





i want my kitty back...





Sep 29, 2007

This week is so....

What can I say about today and yesterday or all this week for that matter.. all good things happen and also not so good things.. then lets just make this short so I don’t bore the people (my boyfriend) who read my blog..
Lets start with the bad first..this week especially is the most tiring week of all.. and that’s gotta do with work boss gave me a work that have to be done in a week, and it’s a lot and then my supervisor also left me some “presents” which I also have to finish and then I have to do my weekly report also *sigh* so so tired… well at least the good thing is I finish all my work this week..and then on Wednesday I have to go home alone without my boyfriend L I don’t like walking alone, but I think I will do that a lot in the next months or so cause he’s getting so busy…hope he didn’t forget about me : p
Now the good part..
Yesterday is our 7th anniversary (no not years also not days its months).. yeeeyyy!! Well we planning to celebrate it together but we ended up eating with my family.. it’s been a quick and long seven months.. quick cause we’re just start dating for 7 months but we got a good understanding between us I don’t say we don’t have flaws or we’re perfect or anything like that but we just click and all in a really fast time..maybe because we’re best friend first and then we’re a couple..yes I know you all tired reading me and him as best friend but deal with it, we’re most likely a good couple cause we’re best friend. A long seven month cause I can feel and remember every single nice and kind thing he done and I’m able to forgive and forget the things he did wrong to me and hold no grudge..

Today was special for me (and him?) cause finally we can have a meal 2gether and window shopping in couple of store ( okay okay 5 stores at least but it’s not just me!! I also look something for hin lol)..after that ( this I cant believe he did) he wait for a long one and a halfhour for me to get my haircut..thanks sweety I really really appreciate that..
And huney..i’m waiting for our monthly chat sweety : p

well this is the new haircut,ga keliatan ya? gitu2 aja :((

i :x u


Sep 26, 2007

whats in my computer today?

I've got like 20 excel file open in my computer,
2 PL/SQL developer for
2 different database with
7 script file inside it,
4 windows explorer,
a mozilla firefox with
4 tabs in it,
Inbox - Microsoft outlook,
FlashGet and
iTunes ...
That 20 excel file must finish on Friday..
I'm freakin' tired..
I'm so sleepy..
I haven't got my THR until this minute..
and i'm hungry..
but other than that..I'm perfect!


Sep 25, 2007


all the things you've done since yesterday..
it's not useless or don't do any good..
i can be in a worst state bad mood-depression thingy without you..
i just really miss you..
and I'm being really really spoiled..
so i ask a lot of stupid things that i shouldn't ask..
it's not that i don't trust you..
i really do..
it's just nice to hear your answer for every stupid Q's i ask..
oh and being beside you did make my bad mood gone little by little..
that's why i hate today :(
but I'll be expecting your calls at night ;p
so have fun sweety..

much love,


Sep 24, 2007

when you're gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
and make it ok

I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

( when you're gone - Avril Lavigne )

I found a new song i really enjoy..well it's not new i just really listen to it right now..and i also just see the video for this song..nice video i must say..and needless to say who is this song i dedicate to, just like any other love song sweety he3x

i :x u


Sep 22, 2007

For That Wonderful Night

July 14th, 2007

My 20th birthday was almost 3 months ago..okay okay thats my sister age, I'm really my 21st birthday was almost 3 months a go.... *lies lies lies lies* okay fine..I'm really 23, and not a minute older!! hmm but now is like i'm around 23 years 2 months 20 days, anyway thats not really important he3x lets start over...
My 23rd birthday was almost 3 months ago..but i still can remember every detail of it. it was the most beautiful, lovely and just simply memorable birthday i ever had my whole life..unless when the day i was born of course, thats the top of my birthday list lol.. anyway, my birthday was in Saturday just the right time for date night with my huggable boyfriend ;p Saturday use to be very boring (well exactly like today cause he had to go to his home in pamulang and i'm aloneeeee :(( hehehehehe just kidding baby) but now i loovvveee our date night :p
it started one night before my birthday when i'm in bistro deliferance PIM2, and i tried to called him but either he didn't answer it or he act like he doesn't wanna speak to well yeah i kinda curse a lot to my sister about him hahahahha not bad curse though, just he's being a pain..

When its almost 12 i do expect my boyfriend to at least call me not just text me.. and it's 12 he didnt even have the decency to call me..well i get my first text and birthday greet from my lovely cousin Naya (thanks sis!) and when i just replying my couz text suddenly my sister calling me from outside, her exact word is "teh, sini liat si meng lucu deh" and i said hold on a second but she was very very insisted at that time soo i went outside and guess who i found in my living sweet boyfriend..holding a rose bouquet..

and at that moment i just stand in front of my room..a little bit confused he3x...and the word coming out of my mouth is only "what are you doing here??" he3x and then he gave me the 23 roses which is wrap in one bouquet..23 roses for 23 years..and i jut cant stop smiling when he gave me that bouquet..and then i see a cake in my dinner table..he gave me a blueberry cheesecake from harvest which said happy birthday sasvia with a 2 and 3 candle in it (i should take that cake photo rather than blew the candle and just instantly eat it he3x)...I'm just speechless..and then come the presents!!

he gave me a big stitch doll, a little stitch doll, a garfield comic book and above all he gave me this beautiful ring with 2 heart shape jewel in it, one is pink and one is colorless.. i know i've seen this ring with a drooll look but i dont know he remember it.. i just love all of the things he had done and gave..cause everything had deep meaning more than just a simple present..

Okay now the whole story.. apperantly my boyfriend is been working together with my sister to plan this own sister!! lol.. so every sneaky calls and sms i couldn't read is to my sister ( and i wonder why i didn't think he was cheating on me at that time he3x), then he ask his friend help to buy the flower (which i know he cant do this alone lol), buy the cake and then drive him to my house..oh my sister also gave me a present, a beautiful red dress from promod..

when i opened one of the present, he said that i already know what it is..what he didn't know is that i hope for it (the present) but i don't think it will happen..and it is like i wish it, that beautiful gorgeous ring is in my hand and the person who gave it to me is the person i loved the most ( besides my cat and my family that is ha3x)..oh and he
said he knows the consequences on giving me the ring is i will love the ring more than him ha3x smart guy he3x...come on can i love a thing more than i love a person like you..

and then we talk about everything from 12 am to 1 am..about my birthday, how he planned it, how he lied to me he3x but this is for good cause so i don't mind lol...after we finish the cake, he said happy birthday and hope i like everything he done to me then he said good night and gave me my birthday hug..

thanks for that wonderful night dear..

i :x u


Sep 21, 2007

if you were mine...

If you were mine,
I'd be your everything and you'd be the only thing that I would ever need
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

Everything I dreamed about
Everything that I talked about
One thing I can't live without
I wanna get closer to you
Can't stand being far away
Knowing that you don't feel the same way
Questioning bring tears to your eyes

If you were mine,
I be your your everything and you be the only thing that I would ever need
If you were mine,
I would tell everyone that you are the only one that I could ever want

All words I sing about
All that is that I write about
Only thing I wanna hear about
So that I can get closer to you
I know that there is someone else, but he's only thinking of himself
Doesn't make any sense for you to be lonely

Let me be the one to share your hopes and dreams with
You'll never be alone again, cuz' I will hold you endlessly
Please don't be afraid to let your broken heart guide you
Into these open arms that long to surround you, baby!!

( marcos hernandez- if you were mine )

he's my everything,
he is the one i share my hopes and dreams,
he hold me endlessly ,
I'm the only one he needed,
i never feel alone again...
so i guess he keep his word when he dedicate this song for me ;p

love always,


P.S. I Love You

This is an Early Review for the movie P.S. I Love You which adapted from a novel with the same name, this novel is made by Cecelia Ahern. i had the pleasure to read her book a couple years back, I've read P.S. I love you and Where rainbows end. Personally i like p.s. i love you better, the character and the story just struck me as a beautiful stories. granted that i never really mention this book in my favorite books at friendster, my space or other stuff but i think this book is worth reading, and after seeing the poster for the movie i just fell in love instantly.

the story tells us about Gerry and Holly, childhood sweethearts who ended up being each other soulmate and get married. life seems perfect for them until Gerry died. Gerry's death devastates Holly. But in her 30th birthday, Gerry comes back to her. He's left her a bundle of notes, each note signed "P.S. I Love You." As the notes are gradually opened, and as the year unfolds, Holly is both cheered up and challenged. The man who knows her better than anyone sets out to teach her that life goes on. With some help from her friends, and her noisy and loving family, Holly finds herself laughing, crying, singing, dancing - and being braver than ever before.

First think that interest me into reading it is the plot line. It is about moving on after you lose your loved one, husband in particular. not that i lose my husband too so i feel the same way with the character cause I'm not married and i also cannot imagine how she feels or anything like that...and I'm babbling unnecessary again he3x well the point is i just like the story..and i have a great time reading it..for me it's not the kind of book that you cannot put until it finish but it's just makes you want to have what Gerry and holly have (who doesn't??).
When i heard they making this novel into a movie, i was ecstatic.....hmm well i always get ecstatic when the novel i read was turn into a movie ha3x and after seeing
the trailer for the movie, i just really can't wait for December 21st..

when i first saw this poster for P.S. I love you, I'm instantly in love with it..this poster is just gorgeous, it's like they are really Holly and Gerry. yes i know it's silly cause i haven't even seen the movie but it's just look so right. probably this film wont be a blockbuster hit but i sure will so like it if not love it..and you sweety HAVE to accompany me watch this movie in the theater :D
Gerard butler look so handsome here..seriously, i don't really like him well i never see him in a movie before, cause i don't like 300 or watch any movie he plays, but now *droolll* ;p hehehhehehe
well i have to wait like 3 months to watch it but i'll wait patiently like i will wait nights of rodanthe which is still like a zillion years to come..



pics courtesy of

Sep 19, 2007

You Must Be

That's my YM status for the day.. you must be is a song by Gina Rene which is also one of the soundtrack from Step up Movie, they use this song in the roof top scene where the 2 character dance while romantic i know he3x..but when i hear this song it's not all those thing i remember..
i remember the rain and my geeky lovely boyfriend ;p ..
i think i always love rain --not to be mistake with that cute actor playing Korean drama full house but he's also a bit handsome isn't he? well thats out of topic--,heavy rain or just little raindrops.. well my reason back then is, when it's raining.. i can just go to my room, turn on the air conditioner, reading a book with a hot chocolate next to me..thats just like heaven on earth he3x (yes i know!! what a lazy girl!!)
Nowdays every time i hear that song i remember the rain and every time it's raining, that song plays in my head..
i don't know when i started to have this obsession about rain..i know i use to love it but to obsessed? well i think it's fine as long i can control it he3x..and i know one of the reason i love the rain is because of my boyfriend..
every time we were going home and there's a little sign of raining, he will "ask" me to bring an umbrella which i will " accidentally " forgot (is that an improper use of quotation mark? LOL)
well what he doesn't know is that i really like the rain because I'm with him..
when i can feel the raindrops in my hand with him by my side and that song playing in my head..
yes i know it's very cheesy but i do feel like that and I'm going to enjoy every single second when it happen again..
i like his expression when he tells me not to go into the rain, especially his kinda mad expression that said "it's a big rain, we better stay until it stop or at least not this big" ..all that expression just makes me wanna go into the rain with you baby he3x
even though he often said things like that, he always let me..and our adventure under the rain is countless..rain drops, usual rain or even heavy rain..
the heavy rain one is fun ( sorry for not listening sweety :p but i didn't regret it at all).. so we were heading to the trans Jakarta (busway) station in monas..and we stuck in his office at the KPPTI building, according to me the rain is not that big and i did bring an umbrella so i suggest that we just go on..and of course he said "hell no , this is HEAVY RAIN!!" (mind the language, i don't think he really said that but it's kinda fun to write it like that :p ) but then i just said its fine it's not that big of rain and we can use the umbrella anyway and then i look at him with that kitty cat eyes (i don't like puppy dog eyes he3x) ... well he finally said yes and we go walk to the station..big mistake baby!! cause it is a heavy rain very very heavy...well at first its not that big, its just like a couple of drops and then it's just getting bigger and bigger ha3x and we trap in the middle of the road..the umbrella didn't do much, well the fact that it's a very very tiny umbrella may play the part :D my shoes were wet,his shoes were clothes, my hair is all wet, so was his..and then when it's getting too big we have to stay in the telephone booth for a while (kinda romantic isn't it? well according to me not him that is ha3x). after the rain is not that heavy anymore, we started walked to the station with that tiny umbrella..don't get me wrong, the not so heavy rain is still heavy just not very very ( i didn't make any sense, did i? lol)
and all that time that you must be song keep playing in my mind, and in a couple of time when we walk, its just like we're moving in a slow motion ( cheesy and delusional ha10x )
Just like i said before..i enjoyed every single second of it and didn't regret anything..
and even though all that little bickering and i told you so from you..i know you enjoyed it to sweety and you will do that with me again in a heartbeat ;)

When I'm with you
you know you make my days
so beautiful
with your different ways
you make me lighter
I'm movin with the wind
love you know what you got for me
i got for you too
we can't pretend

give me another chance to breathe in
you got all the things i need and
together we're just so complete
you must be the reason I'm alive

(Gina Rene - You Must Be)

with love,

*this post is for every single raindrops we will went through in the future sweety.

The choice

No.. i don't have to make any choices or anything..

But it's time for the NEW Nicholas Sparks Novel!! yeeyyyy!!!

It's been so long since he had a new novel.. the last one is dear john which kinda disappointing, not that the book isn't good don't get me wrong.. it's a very beautiful book as always, it's just not a happy ending kind of book and i really really love that i ask nicely to nicholas sparks to make the sequel of the book where it will have the happy ending i wanted :))

His latest book which will be available September 24th, 2007 called The Choice. Basically the book is about a guy called Travis Parker who has everything, a good job, loyal friends, even a waterfront home in small-town North Carolina. But he doesn't believe in a serious relationship until he meet Gabby Holland who moves in next door (whose already have a long time boyfriend). Quote from his website about the book :

' his persistent efforts lead them both to the doorstep of a journey that neither could have foreseen. Spanning the eventful years of young love, marriage and family, The Choice ultimately confronts us with the most heart wrenching question
of all: how far would you go to keep the hope of love alive? '

If anybody want to ask my opinion about Nicholas sparks books, i don't think i can be objective. i will always say that all his books are wonderful and deserve to be read. but i do have my favorites and my so so but never bad..he's book never disappointed me when I'm feeling mellow he3x and I'm soo going to buy this book, if only it came out in Indonesia soon..

i will write review for the book as soon as i buy and finish the book..wish me luck!!


note: pics courtesy of

Sep 18, 2007

Best Friend? nope..i have special friends..

in my mind i always think that i had to have a best friend.. in whatever time and stages i was in, when I'm in kindergarten, elementary school, junior school, high school, college and even now at work..
in my own perspective (skepticism you may called it) that best friend doesn't have to be long lasting thing, its enough for that stages time in my live only..not that i don't want long lasting best friend thingy but usually after passing each stages, my best friend usually change into just friends..well that what happened from kindergarten ( duuuhh!!!) through junior school.
well in college i do find new best friend but it seems friendship in college is more complicated, too much drama and so on..and friendship is very tiring at that time..i do remember a couple of time in college i don't have anyone to tell all my problems..and I'm a good listener so i kinda miss somebody telling me their problems or's not like i don't have any best friend at that time..of course i do but gradually they turned into just friends..
well there's this one guy..we were best friend since fifth semester, mostly cause we like to chat late at night in yahoo messenger..well i talked he listen and he talk i listen..we ended up being best friend he's my sweet and patient boyfriend hehehehe...
high school on the other hand, change my skepticism about best friend, i found this six girls that was so nice to me and i ended up being best friend with them, its just kinda relieve to know that i will always had a shoulder to cry on (tell stories especially). when we graduated, i really try to hang on with this one. they all mean so much to me...

from all of my experience , when I feel that i don't have anybody to talked to or i don't have any best friend , i will still have my six friends from high school. They are not just my best friends,they are my special friends who will always be there for me whenever i needed anything..and it's been a good 9 years with full of happy or sad memories and i hope we will have the next nine years and the next one and the next one to share our stories and dreams..

oh, it's not like i forget my boyfriend for that "
I feel that i don't have anybody to talked to or i don't have any best friend" thingy :p , somebody told me that having your best friend as your couple can be the best thing that happen to you or just the worst thing . and i don't think the worst happen to me *wink* ..

and in spite of everything that people think, me and him did start purely from best friend (and we still are).. please don't tell me otherwise unless you already went through the same thing.. which at that time you'll know what i mean about pure best friend..ooh and don't think i write this last paragraph to defend my self, i don't really care about what they think and if they already make up their mind about me and him,my last paragraph certainly not going to change their mind. just don't go make up lies to other people.

and why do i suddenly sound so mad??? LOL

have a happy ramadan !!


Sep 11, 2007

i just realized...

this afternoon..
when i talk to him...
i just realized how much he willing to protect me..
when i look into his eye..
i just realized how much he care about me..
when i hold his hand...
i just realized how much he meant to me..

and when he tease me..
i just realize..
i cannot lose this and other moments with him..


Sep 10, 2007

another wedding...

Last saturday is a very interesting day..

Well the day start of early morning with bird chirping, the sun shining through the window and the cats singing good morning. i'm awake with this smile in my face and start dancing with the cats *remember that cinderella scene in the morning where the birds and the mouse sing and dance? exactly like that, i just change the mouse into a cat cause i dont really think there's a mouse in my room but then again i dont think all this can really happen*........... i really should stop starting my stories with dramatic effects..

it's actually the usual morning..i wake up in like 8 a.m and start doing my hair and make up for the wedding i will attend today..its my friend selo from college whose getting married and the wedding start at 11 p.m...well i finish in like 9 and thingking what the heck i'm going to do for 2 hours so that my make up and hair wont be messed up..and i failed miserably..

well my boyfriend came at around 10 a.m and at that one hour from 9 to 10, i just like sit still in my room so i didn't messed up my hair..and when he came i don't wanna be near him when he's bad enough if i messed up my hair..but what if i stink?? and its not like that you were smelly hun hehehehhe really you're it all worth that effort to keep my hair and make up very good? well you be the judge of it after seeing the photos..

i like this pic, i didn't look that bad...
so i put it everywhere lol..

well we finally went there like 11 .a.m and my friend mudie called, he ask us where are we..well we're just in front of my house :p it's not that far when there's no traffic jam and there's no traffic jam thank god! and there we met mudie and faris first and then our other college friends..we linger there for some times, and grab some food and catch up with our college friends and then grab another food hehehehe... well at 1 a.m, me and my boyfriend went back to our house to rest to get ready for our date..yes it is a busy saturday ;p

Me, mudie and faris..

and then at 4 p.m we went to pizza hut again, i think we eat pizza hut in our last date..and then some window shopping..oh and i see this beautiful orange-pink wallet in guess, it's sooooo good and i soooo want it..well my boyfriend already tell me to buy it if really really wanted it..and i really really wanted it but i decided to wait and think about it, and probably buy it tommorow or next week..good decision?? soo not! after finish a long hard thingking i decided to buy it the day after..and guess what..they dont have it anymore.. and on monday i tried to fine it in other places..they also dont have it..just my luck isnt it? sorry for not listening to you huney..and thanks for looking that wallet with me yesterday huney..

at the end of the day we said good night..hugs..and...chatting on the telephone again after he arrived at he place LOL

well thats saturday and a little bit of sunday and monday..

he said..

he said i'm beautiful when i'm feeling ugly..
he said i look good when i'm feeling fat..
he said i'm strong when i'm feeling week..
he said i can do whatever i want when i feel failed..

i thank him for that..
cause he makes me feel beautiful..
cause he makes me feel like i worth something..
and cause he makes me feel that he's the one who's lucky to have me..

he said i'm beautiful when i know i'm ugly..
he said i look good when i know i'm fat..
he said i'm strong when i know i'm week..
he said i can do whatever i want when i know i failed..

and i love him for that..
not because he lied..
but because he really see me not only at that time..
he see my potential, he see the real me and he see what i capable of doing..
and as chessy as i can be..
he really did see me beyond my physical feature.. ;)

- relationship cannot be based on fear, it will always put you in a terrible situation..

Aug 28, 2007

what happen today?

today one of my boyfriend bestfriend YM me..well at first i thought its her until the person YMing me said he's using his friend messenger..this person is a guy..this guy is a friend of my boyfriend bestfriend (what did i just write??i'm starting to get confused by my own blog hahahahahha )well anyway at first it's fine..but even if its not true i feel like his bestfriend testing me..i know this wasnt true cause his bestfriend isnt the one doing this..but still it feels like that..
yaaaa..i just wanna write that...


meet the parents..

maybe i supposed to tell stories in based on date...
hmm but i wanna tell this story now..

it was a rainy night with thunder and lightning flashes upon my eyes...heheheh now that was too dramatic lol well its just a usual night after i came home from work..and suddenly BAM! mystupidly handsome boyfriend said "huney, can i ask you a favor?let's meet my parents and my aunt next week.." and in an utter shock i just hmm dead silence oh and he continues with more newsss.. "oh and the week after that there's this family gathering just a little thing for my father birthday" (a little thing??!!! yeah right!!! well this is another story to tell) hahahahahaha and i just said "yes, sure why not" hahahahhahaha
why not you ask?? gosh, well i dont know, maybe because i'm scared as heck!!!
what if he's parents dont like me..
what if they were not that nice to me..
what if they think i'm a bad influence for their son..
what if i dont know what to say..
what if i fall in front of them..i mean literally fall..fall flat in my face..oh with my hobby falling down everywhere, this bound to happen..
what if they asked me something important and with my stupid hearing problem i just look at them with stupid and confused look in my face..

well when that day arrived i tried to look my best as polite and as nice possible so they can see their "calon menantu" (his word not mine lol) is beautiful and honorable hahahahhahaha (yeah right!!!) oh this is not the first time i meet them but then i'm not their son's girlfriend.. hmm as usual i told story that unrelated with my first story..

okay then i meet them..and all the time what's on my mind is..
"what should i say"
"what?!where are you going!!!dont leave me here alone with your parents!!!"
"they dont like me,do they??i knew it..i knew it..i'm bad with parents..."
well, thats some of those things on my mind at that time...

but his parents is so nice..they talk to me like they really like me..yeeyy me!!!
we -me and his parents- even joke around about their son hehehehehe sorry baby..
and we even talk when he's not around, they talkedto me!! yeeeyy!!

all and all this day end very very good..i think his parents not hate me and thats enough.. (and now i'm thingking how to make them like me, use a spell?use a drug?or use a spell binding parfume?? hahahahahaha)
oh and i think i eat too much krupuk kulit cause his mother give me a bag of krupuk kulit to take home hahahahahahahaha

i'm glad they probably like me sweety..thanks for that memorable day..



hmm i really really wanna write a looong post a bout last saturday..
but too tired..
rain check!!


~wanna make that leap of faith~


well yesterday is officially my 6 months anniversary with you sweety hehehehehe

it's just six months but we both been through so much or maybe this is because we're best friends since college so we do been through so much, well anyway thats not what i' m going to talk about..hmm kinda forget what am i going to talk about hehehehe

we usually have this talk every last month..
just to remember or just to say whats change between us, the good part or the bad part..
this time, after six month..i don't have much to say...
i just know that being with you for six month was one of the greatest experience in my life..
you make me see my flaws and accept it..
you make me more mature in making my decision..
and you teach me to say no without feeling guilty..

i appreciate it all and i will never regret every second i spend with you either as a part of my soul or just simply as my best friend..

yours trully,


Aug 23, 2007

have the need to tell somebody... :D

Well i know my imagination can go wild an really really weird sometimes but i just imagining something.. Something which i have to shared with somebody without anybody finding out lol..

imagine me in this beautiful white dress or very very pretty white kebaya that my mom made me..

(scene took place at a beautiful mosque in morroco or europe or rusia )

yes people.. i'm imagining my wedding!! LOL

and my future husband wearing this black tux customade just for him..

my mom, dad, and sister...

his mom,dad, and siblings...

my 2 best friends..

his best friends..

my cats (i know its impossible but who knows :p )


Annie Leibovitz as the photographer to take our photo from the ceremony till the 'after wedding gathering' (have you seen her work??!! perfect!!!)

its a great thought isnt it?

imagine after the ceremony we went to the most beautiful places there to take pictures just me, him and our closest people in our life..


nice to getaway from work for a minute !!! LOL

ps. you can guess i write this after seeing
Annie Leibovitz work of art hehehehe

yours trully,


Aug 22, 2007

Adia's Wedding - May 2007

The day start of very very early in the morning.. I woke up at 4 in the morning (nothing to do with gwen song that is), take a bath and waiting for mas Teddy and mba Iroh who did me,my mom and my sis hair and make up..
After a looonnggggggg and painful hours, Ta-Da!!! we're set and ready looking beautifully georgeus like we're going to a wedding..emm well we are going to a wedding, so thats fine i supposed to be metafora thingy but that did'nt work nicely hmm well....what the heck am i talking about...just forget everything you read in this particular paragraph..
well we go on to adia's house to eat breakfast..
and the breakfast..
MMmmm *droolll* just great ( or is it just because i'm hungry so everything looks delicious? ).
Then off we all go (my big family) to the building (aneka tambang building, i don't know where exactly this place is..) .
oh, we divided into like six car and i went with my cousin cause he's alone. after a couple of miles along the road he told me that he forgot to fill up the gas and he didnt know if there's any gas station along the way there..what??!!why me??! me in this lovely georgeus dress,make up and hair-do??!! and of course my darn cousin, which is also the brother's bride,only exaggerating.. we got there safe and sound..

Me and my Cousin
( yes! the one who almo
st make me push his car :D )

There we met with my other family and getting ready to start the 'akad nikah'.. i like seeing my relatives or my friends get married..why you ask? seeing them happy? well thats one thing.. the main thing is i can play dressed up and wear make up and do my hair differently and looking pretty,so come on people!! get maried and invite me!! :))
with me holding the seserahan, camera, phone, bag i almost missed my boyfriend ( well not really he's so big how can i missed him? hehehe just kidding hun!!!) he looked soo cute in that shirt and clean cut shave and a too small jas..

and then the ceremony start, the akad nikah didnt use any adat so its a usual thing but looking at your closest cousin getting married with this beautiful and nice girl was just priceless..he's one of my closest cousin, from my father side..there are 14 of us - the kosasih family - maybe one of the reason we're so close is that my grandpa always push us to stick together and that kinda stuck until now..
You know like 7 or 8 years
a go when it's lebaran, and we were just hangout at my grandpa house and suddenly my grandpa tell us that we were going to my other cousin house to play..we were soo excited cause we love to play there. so when we're on the car heading there, do you know where he takes us? to our other grandparents house for 'silaturahmi' .. our own grandfather tricked us hehehehe we ended up having fun anyway..this doesnt have anything to do with the wedding isnt it hehehehe...

..My Precious Treasure..

when the reception, they use adat betawi and i never seen this will be interesting to see if i can that is.. as usual me, my sister, and two of my cousin have to stay in the front table.. the ceremony sounds interesting anyway (yes i can hear it happening..pathetic..i know..), and i havent even see the video of the ceremony..
anyway all and all it's a beautiful ceremony, my grandpa would love to be there..

the food was good too..thank good for my sweet boyfriend who always bringing me food and making me slacking my job :p thanks for holding my cellphone , thanks for holding my little tiny bag, thanks for being patient listening to my constant complaint ( my feet hurts, this heelss to high, this kebaya is too small, i'm soo ugly, i'm so fat, i'm hungry..well that kind of complaint lol) and we take soooo much pictures on that day.. we just love taking pictures!!! thanks dear...for everyything...we also always laugh uncontrollably, i dont know why hehehehehe..

-- just perfect pose !! --
love doing this with you anytime huney..

The day end just perfect with us together ...

ps. please mind the bad english hehehehehhe



It's All About The Things Called Love..
That Make Me Do Everything For You..
- For You

Aug 21, 2007

What's On my mind in That Stupid but Oh So Lovely night

this guy always teasing me about my "drama queen" habit..
this guy always yelling at me if i tell him a story about my "problem"..
this guy always saying that he will never ( with a capital N E V E R ) date his best friend..
this guy always saying that he treat all his girl best friend the same way he treated me..
this guy always treated me so coldly when we met..
this guy also said that we will never ended up together ( or is it me who said that?:D)


this guy said he like like me at midnight 27.07.2007..


this guy ended up loving me more than i know..

vice versa...


This Thing Called Happiness

it's been like almost six month i did'nt post anything in this blog..
well i'm back !! (Yeey me!! - and i know i'm the only one who read this blog LOL)

in this past six month i have a new boyfriend (a good guy indeed which i can read my whole experience with him, before we actually together in this blog), lost a bestfriend, went to my brother wedding, went to bidadari island with my co workers in indosat, meet my boyfriend parents, meet more of my boyfriend family, my birthday, his birthday, went to a co workers wedding in bandung hmm what else..what did i missed..well i tell all along the way..

bottom line is i'm happy..

and i'm truly sorry to the people i hurt so that i can gain this happiness..

love always,

Feb 13, 2007

Not Ready To Make Nice

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

dixie chicks - not ready to make nice

i'm sorry...

to all my friends who chat with me today well on february 13th...i'm so sorry for being so b**chy..and annoying..and hyper sensitive..and mad for no reason..and acting crazy..and laughing like a lunatic..and yelling..well all more then my usual self..just not in a good mood..a very very bad mood..i tell you the reason but then it's a women thing..anyway..bare with me for this week okay hehehehe i'm not really mad at you guys..
to cappuletkhan =>thanks for the dvd..really entertaining hehehehe

Feb 8, 2007

spinning day today!!

it's a hard day for work and health..
well as you all knows how stupid i am, i dont use my umbrella when is raining thingking i will be fine..and well i'm not head hurt like somebody spin it 200 times..i feel like i'm going to vommit and i got a lot of work..i usually dont take meds a lot but this is an emergency situation..1 panadol didnt do it but 2 kinda make it easier at least makes me finish my work in time..still dizzy i have to go home but thank god i'm not alone..thanks for letting me rest my head for a little while..the bus is kinda spinning like crazy or is it just me??ahahhaha
now nothing change...head keep hurting and spinning..feel sick and guess whatt people??!! i have to be in the office at 6 am in the morning..

Feb 6, 2007

there you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me

For always
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life


Feb 5, 2007

a package?

i guess you know when you feeling something to someone..that tingling feeling when you see him, when he text you,when he say hi to you in the messenger, oh and when he look at you with this weird expression in his face.. your heart just jump around everywhere..
but do you know how hurt it is when he dissapointed you or when he ignores you...
learning from my personal experience that both come together like a package hahahaha..
but i guess we just have to enjoy it...
by the way this post made last friday just forgot to post it from the office..


Feb 4, 2007


do you know how much pain i feel right somebody has taken me to heaven and then drop me from there..well the heaven thing is only a metaphore but you understand what i mean..
but my friend ask me..which one will you choose?to feel that kinda joy and happiness for just a minute and know that it will hurt you in the end or never feel anything, not pain, joy or happiness just protect my hearts from all harms way? hmm..i can answer this in a jiffy without any hesitation, i pick joy and pain anytime crappy i feel now at least i have the joy and happiness memory right?hahaha well that's what i've been telling myself this past few days..
i treasure the memory for sure but is it worth the pain..well only time will tell me that..i still dont know what i really feel anyway..
can i ask you girls you remember how many guys that makes you cry until now? cause i do..3 person..3 stupid guys..yup only 3..or is it too much??hahahhaha i really have no idea...but as long as they dont see me cry is fine by me!! well except when in an unreasonable situation...when i cry in front of that guy then he's out of line!!!hahahaha
well that's it for today..

do you really want to know..

do you really want to know what movie i watch three times and makes me cry three times??? ahahahhaha
i know i know it's ridicilous..but you said you want to know..
it's just soo sad when stitch says goodbye to lilo cause he knowhe could hurt lilo..
and then lilo sacrifice her dance competition to find stitch..
then lilo realize stitcth has gone with the plane and the plane crash..
(i'm tearing up just when i write this)
and then lilo take stitch out..
and he's dying
and and (me sobbing)
stitch says goodbye..
stitch says that lilo his best friend and dies.
lilo cries and cries and ask jamba to help..
but he said sticth had died..
and nani tried to take lilo from stitch but lilo dont want too.
and lilo cries and cries and tell stitch that she's sorry she wasnt there when he needs her..
tell stitch that he is her ohana..
(sobbing like crazy!!)
and at last stitch awake and take lilo's hand..
sorry cant tell no more..
too sad..

but i just love that movie..
waiting for the fourth time!!!!!


nights in rodanthe..

message in a bottle, a walk to remember, the notebook and now they going to make nights in rodanthe!! it's all nicholas sparks book for your information..i love his novel and i love the movies adapted from his novel..message in a bottle is nice with kevin costner and robin wright penn..the notebook is very good with rachel mcadams and ryan gosling,they played it perfectly just like i expected but i always love a walk to rememberwith mandy moore and shane west..i cant stop watching it over and over again..
now i'm waiting for diane lane and richard gere to make the magic happens in nights in rodanthe!!
and this is the last novel i buy from nicholas sparks cause i really not interested and finally my dad bought it for me and...i cry when i read this book..hahaha i know!!!me!!cry for a book!! i just like it..
want to know more?? just go to

love you all!!!


Feb 3, 2007

(*) Best part of being single (*)

  1. I can leave my phone dead for days without somebody being mad at me
  2. I can go out with my girlfriends anytime I want
  3. I can go out with my guyfriends anytime I want and without guilt (you know how I am with guilt)
  4. I can spend more time with my mom and dad without somebody being mad about it.
  5. Just being plain free to have different feelings without somebody told you what to do or what to feel..

Don’t get me wrong..i like having someone beside me, holding my hands and especially protect me when some guy teasing me, like some weird guys who said things like “hey beautiful,wanna come with me” (I know!!somebody really said that to me hahaha), the feeling I have when I know that he really liked me and will be there for me even if he never said anything.
Anyway, arent we talking about best part of being single? hahahaha
The point is starting from now..just take thing slow..dont think to far ahead..just enjoy this new life of yours..i’m sure something or someone good will come I’m sure something good will happen to me hahaha


Feb 2, 2007

just so you know..

everything's good when it's fun and games but not when your heart involved..really..who planned this things to happen..

I shouldn't love you,
but I want too.
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you,
but I can't move.
I can't look away.

how to be fine when I'm not.
Cause I don't know,
how to make the feeling stop.
Just so you know

This feeling's taking control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let her win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
I just gotta say it all before I go.
Just so you know.

It's getting hard to,
be around you.
There's so much I can't say.
Do you want me to have the feelings?
And look the other way.

And I don't know,
how to be fine when I'm not.
Cause I don't know,
how to make the feeling stop.
Just so you know.

This feeling's taking control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let her win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.

This emptiness is killing me,
I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long.
Looking back I realize,
it was always there,
just never spoken.
I'm waiting here,
been waiting here.
Just so you know,
this feeling's take control of me,
and I can't help it.

well that's a little lyric from jesse mcartney - just so you know ..with a little change from me hahaha..i just like that you think it's connected to my feeling? you guess okay??!hahaahaha

Feb 1, 2007

in the busway...

i ride trans jakarta or so we called busway today with my friend..and i bet after this he doesnt want to take it with me again hahahahaha or maybe he wont take busway for life hahahahaha..
well first of all today is raining hard and traffic jam we figure busway is not going to get any problem with the traffic..well we're right but forget the human factor, there is soo many people there hahaha we waited for half an hour probably in bank indonesia terminal until we decided to go to monas terminal first then take the bus from there...oh and me the-know-it-all girl said "gak kok ga bayar lagi" hahaha how wrong i am!!! oh and when we going to take the bus to monas, i leave him in the bank indonesia terminal!!!!!hahahahhaha well imagining me panic thats not really weird...
okay so i waited for him in the next bus..and then we take the's sooo crowded that i didnt get anything to hang on too so i hang on to his bag..oh and i know how heavy i am hhahahahaha...and dont forget we almost miss our exit terminal make it worst, the usual road isn't even having any traffic jam..well maybe a little but not much..
so sorry bro' and thanks...

At this moment..

at this moment, i dont feel so good..i dont know if it's just my feeling or is it a sign for thing i know..this time i feel anger, jealousy,pain and everything bad..i know..i'm such a drama queen..but that's how i feel and just wanna say something about it..
anyway..i think i kinda know what make me feel down like this but i cant share this one in this blog or to anybody..let's just say it's so pathetic of me..involving me hurting myself (not physically) and having too much hope on something that I KNOW is impossible..the thing is i like this situation..cause it's good when the ball is in my court but it's in somebody else the pain is sooo badddd..hmm what the heck am i talking about!!!!
but what's life without a little hope and dream?even if it's hurt like somebody crush your heart like a bug..

well at least my day is not so bad since this nice guy offer me his jacket..thanks a lot ya freezing here.. and
so hungrryyyy right nowwww...


Jan 31, 2007


started with a regular post about my day but my day is so boring so i'm just going to write something that's describe me hahhaha wall a little tiny part of me..
i love hugs...friendly hugs and boyfriend girlfriend hugs..i like it more than anything..well except shoes and bags's just the save feeling that you got..when i see someone (note that this people is special!!! not just someone passing by hahaha), i just wanna know how does it feel to be hug by that it the warm feeling..the cold feeling or the save feeling i always imagine? or it's just sparks..
how does it feel when you rest your head in their hugs, how their arms protect you from all danger that will come, how their hugs express their feelings..hahahah am i imagining an impossible person?? ohand dont get me wrong..the person it's a HE but not somebody in a particular or so i said..
not to mention if their sick or in trouble!! just wanna hold them and say that everything will be okay and you can count on me..hahah this is so cliche but i just feel that way when i see the person..
but what if it's just one sided..i dont wanna hug somebody and they just stand there and do nothing..not even react to my hug..
well anyway that's just a little piece of me..
so when you see me stare at you weird, looking at you weird, talking weird and smile weird..that means i imagining how does it feel to be hug by you!!!!! hahahahahahahahaha