World Cup 2006

Whew... Udah lama banget ga ngepost.. So sorry blog -_-

Hmm next year is another world cup.. 2010 world cup in south africa.. World cup will always bring back memories for me, well last year particularly..

World cup 2006 memoir...

I remember the days we chat for hours at night..
I remember that day we chat till 4am in the morning..
Talking about hmm talking about nothing??
We just chat and chat and chat..
All the talk about how my dad will so mad at me seeing my phone bill using it for internet dial up chatting with you..

All the time I ask you..
Why don't you watch the game..
Why don't you go with your friends to watch the game..
Rather than just chat with me..

And you just easily said..
I don't like the team or
I'm bored with the game or
Yes I will watch it later..
But you still didn't leave me until I went to bed..
And you especially didn't leave me when I had my 'problem'...

Sometimes your answer is a little confusing..
Cause I know you LOVE soccer..
But you'll miss important game just to chat with me..
And you never made a big deal out of it..

I really don't know what feelings you had for me almost 4 years a go..
But I know this for sure..
You're a really good friend..
True gentlemen almost till the end ;)

Love those memories :D

Want to make this world cup 2010 more memorable??? Maybee finally becoming my EX-boyfriend???? Hahahahaha

Mucha luv beb...

Gerberairis
gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

i really........

Just read this quote from a blog..

"There comes a point where you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just means you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it."

and today..

I really just love you..

Mi luv you mucha :)

XOXO,
gerberairis

Review.. Review.. Skincare and Makeup Part I

Kayanya september gue ga updatean post deh ya ehehehe.. today review day aja deh.. sebelum prajab :(

1. MAC lightful moisturizer : well i choose this than yerba mate from kiehl's.. and at first i kinda regret it cause i dont feel like it's doing anything to my face.. it's still the same dull and kusem (*kagak tau bahasa inggrisnya hahaha*) face, but then it hit me when i finish the whole jar.. a week after that, my face is so not healthy.. dry, flaky or sometmes over oily.. i miss my MAC :( but i think i'm going to try the yerba mate next.. wish me luck
-- you can see the picture here


2. MAC studio moisture tint.. akyu sukaaaaa tp kayanya a bit dark for me warnanya.. jadi suka gue tambahin pake feverlet HD yg pektay abeess itu hehehe.. * ga jelas deh ni kulit muka gue apaan, beneran bingung NC or NW or yellow or pink hahahha* tapi untuk sebagai tinted moisturizer ini very reccomended especially with the spf.


3. lagi jatuh cinta sama Everyday Minerals.. basenya makes you look so soft... tp kayanya again gue salah shade hahahaha.. karena oxidize di gue... but i love their brushes.. flat top and the LHK.. mi likey!!! gue lagi mau pre order lagi si ehhehehe moga2 dapet shade yg cucokk..
www.everydayminerals.com

love,
gerbera_iris

puasa pertama di kantor baru..

okay okay!!! new post!!

so i'm really freakin thrilled!!!

1. So i already order that sooo freakin gorgeous kate spade bag.. my first kate spade bag!!tapi belom sampe juga si, kayanya after tanggal 7 sept deh hehehe i order it from mba maia and ofcourse taunya juga dari FashioneseDaily . so excited cause i practically spent all my THR money into this bag hahahaha but i think it's fine cause i still have a lot of clothes *teuteuuppp nyari pembenaran hahahaha*
2. I buy a soo sexieh heels with bow in the ankle.. and i think it will look great with my new kate spade hahahaha the shoes was from betsey Johnson!! freakin betsey johnson! hehe normally i so cannot afford that betsey shoes but they're having 60% off!! and i just can't resist.. i promise i wouldnt buy another shoes for lebaran kecuali yang udah di PO kan ga bisa dibatalin juga jadi itu udah terlanjur dan ga masuk itungan yaaa.. *and another pembenaran hahahah* oh i got the shoes on lapak FD juga nih.. bener2 meracuni ni FD hahaha but oh well kan emang pengen ya jadi bukan karena si FD juga ya ya ya.. * god how many pembenaran yg gue butuhkan ya hahahaha*

to be continued deh.. mau pulang ketemu apcar tercinta yg sedang gue sebelin cause i'm pmsing.. whatever!!! hahaha ga jelas abiossss..

-- update : okay 3 days later and belom gue lanjutin aja loh ahhahahaha langsung deh lanjutin diatas :p

--last update i promise! i give up updating this post, let's just move ooonn... hehehehe

Wishlist that is freakin expensive! LOL

Yes I know I'm sooo bad at fullfilling my promises to finish the to be continued thing.. But I will do it as soon as possible!! I promise :D

Happy fasting and happy ramadhan everybody!!

Now let's start my new wish list!! Cause almost all my make up and skincare wishlist done (which I promise to share heheheh) :

1. Kate Spade Classic Noel Baby Bag which retail around IDR 5mio and FD Market plaza sell it for 3.5 (lapak nik)



Sampe skrg masih bingung pengen beli apa gak..beneran deh dilema.. That's expensive for me tapi ya kan emang ga tiap hari beli ts kaya gini and ga tiap hari juga ada po this pretty bag plus kan kemaren udah dikasi thr ma daddy *making excuses banget ga sih gue hahahaha* but I really want this bag.. Dilema dilema..

Update -- udah pesen waiting for confirmation!!!!

2. Ipod Touch

Okay..I have to admit something first before somebody think why the hell did I want a bag that cost so much when I can get a gadget like ipod touch hahahaha the problem is I already have an Ipod.. Ipod video 30 gigs that is.. And an N96 which also can play music with memory of 16 gigs.. Soo I don't know why I want this little gadget but I just do!!! It's touch screen and its just so niceeee..
Price : for 16gigs around IDR 3.2mio

update -- NO Ipod for me!! daddy and boyfriend said no ahhahahahahaha

Sooooo it will cost me a month and a half of my paycheck *gaji sebulan plus setengah gaji bulan depannya hahahahaha gilaaaa mungkin gue merelakan makan dan minum aja ya selama sebulan setengah itu hahahaahhaah stresssss :))

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

pics courtesy of mba maia FD..

more than a month!! shame on me!!

okay it's been more than a month since i wrote on my blog???? shame on me!! lots and lots of update.. got my BF an NDS and i got most of the stuff on my makeup wishlist and even more (my rapelan is here!! hahahahah).. then i kinda got crazy on online shopping and my boyfriend think he need to do an intervention on me hahahah i am not that addicted sweety!!! oh and me and my sis got some free ticket to watch the proposal from FD!!! yeaayy!! but we haven't got a confirmation email from the editor so we'll just wait and see hehehe okay.. this is it for now.. i'm going to update with review on the beauty product, my haul, and ciciero bags !!

love,
gerberairis

gift for him

3 things I wish I can (afford :p) give my bf for his birthday (pic updated 2morrow) :

1. XBOX 360 / Nintendo DS




Well this is not need to be explain (actually everything doesn't need to be explain :p). But my bf LOVE this game things.. And if I can gift him this is like supporting his childish/boyish side.. He knows that I dislike his childish attitude if it's too overloaded, but if I gift this to him at least I can show him that I didn't hate his childish behaviour :p. Just wish had the money hahahhahaha what's the alternative for this gift??


2. The New Toshiba QOSMIO Laptop




Have you seen the spec for this notebook? My bf will LOVE this (I even LOVE this :p)!!!!!! He can take this everywhere and he can put all his movies and all those games or online games in this computer.. Darn it, he probably will forget me if I give him this LOL but I cost like 32 million.. Good GOD!!! Hahahahha


3. An Original Tag Heuer watch



Hmm this is for my own personal pleasure.. This is for his man side.. He will look so good in this watch.. soo hot LOL the Tag Heuer in my mind (Formula 1 and carrere version) probably cost the same like the laptop.. Crazy talk right? But it just look so damn good.. I like this better than rolex, rolex is too girly..

Well that's what I want for him this birthday but then again I really am only an ordinary worker :p besides he will love everything I get him (menghibur diri sendiri hahahaha).. Good lord this is late.. Soo sleepy.. Nite nite...


gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Wishlist - Make Up Edition!!!

Okay!! after that stupid rambling... i think i'm going to a lighter side.. lately i've been hit by another bug.. makeup craze bug that is.. hehehehe okay so i will list my top something makeup and skincare stuff that i really really want and some extras :D oh and my boyfriend can get some inspiration for next month *wink wink*

My Top will buy (after i got My Rapelan!!!!) :

1. MAC - Lightful Ultramoisture Creme


This is one of MAC Lightful skincare line which is the moisturizer. i so really need a moisturizer right now cause my face is so dull and just freakin weird. and according to some of the review this moisturizer is good. one of the reason that MAC made it especially for asia region and for outside asia they only sell it online.. at maccosmetics.com the price is US$36 and do you know how much they sell it here?? freakin Rp. 495.000 what a rip off!!! seriouslly if my mom going to singapore, this is he first thing i will beg her to buy for me lol you can see a review in here
http://makeupbytiffanyd.blogspot.com/2009/02/mac-lightful-deep-ultramoisture-creme.html

2. MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural or/and Lancome Ageless Minerale with White Sapphire Complex (phiuh!)

okay so both of this is a mineral powder.. Lancome loose powder and the MAC is pressed powder with foundation.. i want it both!! and i think i will buy both but the MAC is a priority because it's cheaper :p and i already have my anna sui loose powder. but i really want it both! unfortunately the Lancome is not available in indonesia and i can't ask my mom to buy it cause i have to tried it ( it's a powder, i have to test it!!) so dream a little dream :( anyway the retail price for MAC MSF Natural is US$25 but i think is more than Rp. 300.000 here.. but i don't know about the lancome yet.
for review just go to http://www.makeupalley.com at the product reviews.

3. The Body Shop Kabuki - Mineral Foundation Brush

Awwwwhhhh!! this is my MUST HAVE!! i probably going to buy this before my rapelan lol well my first option is MAC 182 the kabuki but come on.. do you know how much a MAC brush cost? A lot! hehehe so i choose the alternative and after i see one for my self i think this this is suitable and worth the price Rp. 189.000 an you can use this for the powder or blush or powder foundie. or you can travel with it plus its so cute :D

4. Vitamin C Micro Refiner

well i just find this exfoliator recently, i had my eye on the MAC micro refiner first but yeah the price is really good also ;) so this is a good substitute plus it's easier to find.. you can find body shp in every single mall in jakarta. from the review people said that this also reduce milia!! cross finger.. i hate my milias!!! retail @ Rp.209.000

well it's late so continue tommorow....





to be continued.....

gerberairis

Pictures and Review thanks to :
http://makeupbytiffanyd.blogspot.com/
http://www.makeupalley.com/
http://www.maccosmetics.com/

Am I asking too much? Am I being a spoiled princess?

First, aku minta just once in a while pick me up in my office.. Not everyday just at least once.. And you said okay you will if you know the way.. Okay I said.. When we have lunch together and you know how to get to my office.. God do you know how many times I wait.. Ga usah naek taksi d hun, naek ojek aja biar murah.. And you said you want it to be special, you want the first time picking me up being special.. You pick our anniversary and we know I ask you to do something so you can't.. Trus sampe sekarang huney?? 4 bulan kemudian? Are you waiting for another special ocassion?

Fine I'm letting go that one.. You know how much I hate the queue @ BI right? And a while back I ask you.. Kenapa ga sekali kali kamu ke harmoni aja kan di bi arah harmoninya juga ga ngantri.. And this is not something yang aku isyaratkan ke kamu but I really ask.. But you know what the first sentences coming from you 'tapi gapapa ya kalo kamu nunggu agak lama di harmoni'.. Dear god huney.. Can we at least talk about it first.. Jam berapa ketemuan.. Kamu bisanya dari kantor jam berapa.. Aku berangkat jam berapa dari kantor.. Harus ya langsung like that? And after I said ya udah ga usah.. That's the last we talk about it.. Iya aku juga ga minta lagi tapi udah gt hun, that's it? Or when I frontally ask you to meet me di harmoni.. Kamu pasti selalu nanya balik.. Why can't you just do it.. I'm asking you huney.. Aku udah ga cuma ngasi some freaking signal..

You keep answering me with yes, okay later I will do it, if I can.. Tapi kapan hun? is it too big of a request? For you too pick me up once in a while not in my office only in harmony.. Is it too much?

Everytime I said I'm tired queue ing in bi all you can say cuma 'kamu mau pulang duluan?' How to make you understand that I wanna go home with you but please just once in a while can you spare me and do what you promise me.. Do what you say to me..

kenapa susah banget si for this one little thing.. Soo many reason soo many excuses.. Should I just let go? Toh aku ga bisa krumah his parents cause I can't took the public transportation.. So maybe we can call it even?

Sorry ya hun if you read this.. I'm just rambling..

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Monday Sucks day!!!!! (my first Live blog)

11.41 AM
so bored..
what to do..what to do...
i'm almost finish with my penilaian thingy.. a little bit more but just too lazy to do it :p a
boooreeeddddd..
waiting for my noodle lunch...
will update later...

12.24 PM
finishing my noodle with rice..
gaining soo much fat huhuhuhuhuhu HATEEEEEE

12.53 PM
kinda jealous seeing my ex-coworker pics and my cousin status :((

1.12 PM
my sweetheart keep asking me about my 12.53 PM..
kasi tau ga yaaaa??????
i know howw sooo spoiled he be when he get curious..
should i wait.. until he spoiled me for that information??
seriouslly what am i saying here?? hahahahahha

2.12 PM
this is not a good day.. *sigh*

2.48 pm
i wish.. is not that hard or expensive for him to go to my office so he can pick me up from time to time..

3.19 PM
he said i'm very committed.. not true.. i'm just freakin boredddd...

3.26 PM
what to wear on saturday.. dress or jeans.. casual or semi casual.. probably ended up wearing jeans if i still feel this baddd..

3.28 PM
jeans probably better.. more freeing ( is freeing a word???? )

3.29 PM
kinda scared to tell my boyfriend...

3.30 PM
what if we go to his house not next week but the week after that..

3.31 PM
cause this week we already go to that event where we will meet his parents..

3.32 PM
hope he didn't read this post!! lol stupid me..

3.41 PM
can't keep my eyes open..must..go..to..sleep..

4.17 PM
Bentar lagi pulang!!!
awas kalo lupa game ku ya huneyyY!!!!!!!! :-*

4.37 PM
BOOOORRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

4.51 PM
pulang pulang pulang pulang pulang pulang pulang !!!!!!

4.53 PM
getting ready to go home..
last live blog of the day..
pretty boring but hey i'm booreeedd and
still not feeling well cheers!!!!!

gerbera_iris

Oh good God..

I thought I'm that strong.. I can't...
gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Grateful..

I've read my post this past month and I seem so ungrateful..

I really do thankful for my new job, even though my status hasn't been cleared yet but I do have good days there and considering I probably will stay there for the long haul, I should make myself comfortable.. So Please don't get tired hearing me complain how I hate my job ya huney, it's just me being weird :p

And for the love of my life.. I don't know how many times I thank God for sending you into my life.. For the love you teach me.. For the weirdness you show me.. For your spoliations that sometimes annoyed me :p.. For the lesson you gave me.. For all your lecture so I can stand tall and be a strong girl.. Yes I am sometimes So tired waiting for your 'decision' but I am still going to be here to support you.. Am I making sense sweety ;p ?

Do you know how lucky we are sweety.. Well according to me we are, cause like what monica said to chandler 'how often that your best friend turns out to be your soulmate' or is it chandler who said that? Hehehe oh well :p

Thanks for spoiling me last week sweety.. maybe you did spoiled me everyday without me noticing (that means you should spoiled me more with hugs and kisses !!!!! Headache)

All and all I am so thankful for my life and I do hope I can get married ( at last I said the M word LOL) next year but the truth is that is all up to God (and my boyfriend :p) so I can only pray pray and pray..

With love,

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Babble babble babble

My reality..my dream..my worst fear..my hope..my love.. That's what I'm thingking when you see me kinda daze off or daydreaming or look mellow.. So sorry if I don't tell you but all I'm thingking is the same thing that we already talk about and it had no ending and we can't agree on it so you can only let me do that from time to time cause I don't even know what to do.. I'm really babbling :p
Love you so much sweety pie..
gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

random complaints..

I don't have the right to complain.. But God I'm so tired and really really hoping God get me through everything.. My problem is not as hard as other people I know especially when my blessing is bigger.. But I do need to. Get this out of my chest.. my hair is falling rapidly because of this..

I remember when work is a happy place to be.. I also remember when work,even if the job is so dreadful,I still don't mind going to the office.... Now my status is still unclear.. I haven't got my full paycheck for 5 months.. And yesterday I got a complain for the way I dress.. Cause a group of people think I didn't dress appropriate enough for work.. But instead talking to my boss, they just report me to a judge there.. The judge doesn't even know me which actually mean she never see me dress inappropriately.. But now I don't know what she think.. It hurts me cause that one day I didn't dress good enough for them and they just ruin my name because of that one day.. I really just wanna cry in my boyfriend arms.. But apparently i've got another reason to do that..

this june suppose to mean something to me.. my future with him..our future.. that's gone down the drain.. and now i just gave up, i ask him to figure this out by himself.. i can't wait forever..i cannot even wait for 2 years.. if he want to marry me next year, he had to make his decision this year or else he have to find a much younger bride that can wait for him. i really love him so much but i don't want to wait another 2 years to get married just because yesterday reason.. this pride and dignity thing.. god i just can't think about this anymore without crying..

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

It's not suppose to be this hard :(

It's not suppose to be this hard to go to work in the morning isn't it? I should have enjoy going to work or waking up to go to work right? Or am I asking too much? Do I whine too much? I enjoyed worked the last time when my paycheck was smaller, not that I don't have any complaint but at least I didn't feel like this every single day...*sigh*

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

........

Maybe it' just the expression that you don't wanna tell me even when you're joking that's bothering me :( I'm sorry if I'm wrong really I do.. It's just bothering me *sigh*

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Share a little something..

My friend just said that it just took a moment to create a lifetime of memory.. And that is so true! I've got those few moment actually. When that happen I sometimes share it in my blog except a couple of thing like my trip to bali with him which I'm to lazy to continue writing :p
But there's this one moment that will definitely be a special memory. It's his cousin wedding and at the almost end of the reception I'm just standing in the back watching the bride, and he came up from behind and call my name.. After that he gave me a flower, a single pink gerbera flower that he took from the reception table. And like a fool I just take the flower and make a joke about it hehehe maybe that's why he rarely do this romantic thing to me.. Cause I joke about it :p I didn't mean too really, it's just sometimes I'm really speechless after he did something romantic..
This is one of those rare moments that my boyfriend did something romantic without me giving a hint that I need something romantic hahaha and I don't know if all this really happen the why I told it just now or It happen but I romantizing (this is not even a word LoL) it more in my head? Well I don't care!! At least I have this memory :) thanks sweetheart..

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

I think I act kinda selfish today.. I know I'm not suppose to just take without giving but you know me hun, After work I just desperately need your hugs and little kisses so tommorow doesn't feel that bad.. But today I'm the one who supposed to gave you all of that, I'm the one who suppose to make you feel better.. I think I'll do better next time ;)

•• I was born to tell you I love you ••
- secondhand serenade

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Freakin tired again..

It's almost 5 months.. Shouldn't I suppose to love my work by now? But why is it every time I imagine going to work the next morning just freakin devastated me... My job? Anybody can do it, it's not like I have to be there so the job will get done.. No, I'm not that important, my work is not that important and most of all, my presence doesn't effect that much.. I know I feel the same thing in my first job about 2 and a half years a go but it just lasted like a month and then I got this responsibility and a good friends. No back stabbing, no arrogance and no potty mouth.. When will I say 'God I'm glad I work here!!' .. When you hate your job for 4 freakin months, isn't it time to quit? But that just giving up and I won't give up.. I can hate it but I try to enjoy it at least.. Just wish I can share it with somebody who feel the same way but without acting overrated or bad mouthing some person or even just listen to a person opinion and then give yours nicely no need to yell at each other all the time.. Dear God I'm tired..... Thank God for a boyfriend right? (Thanks for before sweety....)


gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Song of the day!

....Superhuman

Weak, I have been crying and crying for weeks.
How'd I survive when I can barely speak,barely eat on my knees.

But that's the moment you came to me,
I don't know what your love has done to me.
Think im invincible I see through the me I used to be.

You've changed my whole life, don't know what you're doing to me with your love.
I'm feeling all superhuman you did that to me, a superhuman heart beats in me,
nothing can stop me here with you.
Superhuman..
I feel so superhuman

Strong, since i've been flying and righting the wrongs.
Feels almost like i've had it all along, I can see tomorrow.

Where every problem is gone because I flew everywhere with love inside of me.
It's unbeliveble to see how love can set me free.

You've changed my whole life, don't know what you're doing to me with your love.
I'm feeling all superhuman you did that to me, a superhuman heart beats in me,
nothing can stop me here with you.
Superhuman..
I feel so superhuman

It's not a bird, not a plane, it's my heart and it's going gone away.
My only weekness is you, only reason is you, every minute with you
I feel like I can do, anything..
Going,going i'm gone away, in love.

You've changed my whole life, don't know what you're doing to me with your love.
I'm feeling all superhuman you did that to me, a superhuman heart beats in me,
nothing can stop me here with you.
Superhuman..
- chris brown feat keri hilson

I really really dislike the guy person who sing this song but I really really love this, remind me of that special someone :-* .. So that's the it song for this week, next month I probably will get a new one :p anyway I feel like I want to make something with this song.. I have one ongoing project that involved it but my ongoing can last forever LOL

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Piece of today's weird thoughts

I don't remember if I ever write about this but oh well this is my blog and I can write anything I want hahaha..
3 days a go was our 2 years and 2 months anniversary (I don't know if that was categorised as anniversary or not :p) and just reminded my self how much I wanted to be treated romantically just because.. You know just because he loves me or just because I'm special or something like that, Treated romantically without any occasion. It's not that he's not romantic, I still can remember the special thing he does.. But sometimes I just want the big gesture, I just want him doing the spontaneity of being romantic. Am I making any sense at all?? LoL..
Anyway, 2 years is not that long right? But enough to turn down the big romantic gesture, not totally erased it just more less than usual. It's not just him, happen to me also I guess.. But my reason is like if I want to do something romantic to him it's usually something I want him to do to me and if I really go through it and do that romantic thing to him, I bet in a million years he won't do the same thing to me (I know cause I ask him about this hahaha) maybe other thing but not the kind I did.. So I just don't do it. I know its kinda lame and selfish but I am just a girl!! LoL

Gerberairis

gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

It is really fun using a blackberry!

Well, it started with my sister craving for a blackberry.. And I'm just like "it's only a blackberry, come ooonnn" and look at us now! Yes I said US.. My sister,my dad,my mom and me.. We all have our own personal blackberry!! Seriously crazy hahahaha
Blackberry storm for papi
Blackberry bold for mami and my sista
Blackberry javelin for yours trully
...........
Anyway, we just had a family dinner 2 hours a go and ofcourse after the actual dinner we stayed like an hour just to share and pimp our BB, talk about a tight family right? Hahahaha

Lovelove My Jav and still Love my N96! Let Blackberry tighten your family!! LOL

But I still love my BF more....... Maybeee hahahaha :- *


gerbera_iris at BlackBerry®

Trying to blog from my javelin

Sent from my BlackBerry®
powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT

-----Original Message-----
From: gerbera_iris@yahoo.com

Date: Sun, 12 Apr 2009 10:50:42
To: <gerberairis.vicate@blogger.com>
Subject: Trying to blog from my javelin


So this is a test!! Hope it work!!

Gerbera_iris
Sent from my BlackBerry®
powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT

SOOOO TIREDD! :((

I'm so tired.. it's monday morning 10.30 AM in my office desk and all i want to do is go home and take a nap. i don't have a lot of work to do.. only little of this and little of that so probably that also contribute to my tiredness ( is tiredness even a word?? lol ) well, i've got some work thing schedule on wednesday so i've got something to write on my kate spade.. yeeyy!!
hmmm speaking about kate spade..funny story..according to me funny but for my boyfriend it's a sad sad story :p .. we celebrate our second anniversary this month. we like to exchange gifts, not a necessary habit but a fun one! and this time we decided to tell each other what kind of a gift it's going to be, it didn't exactly tell you what the present will look like so it's fun for us.. ..no harm right?? :p
That sweet boyfriend of mine tell me what he's going to buy..an organizer for a fresh start in my new office. and i said to him "that is such a good idea hun" so after he plant that image of a new organizer which i never think of to buy before.. i started to look for one :p i know i know it's not good cause he already told me he's going to buy one for me but i can't help it and then that thing happen.. that thing where i fell in love with a kate spade organizers which cost a zillion lol i know i cannot afford it and i seriouslly not going to ask my boyfriend for something that expensive but my mom tell me i should buy it cause she think it worth every penny.. well, i decided to wait and then in a blink of an eye i got that organizers!! well it's not a blink of an eye heheh my mom went to hongkong last week and she gave me that kate spade organizers!! not the one i originaly want but better!! so it all work out for me and everything, but my boyfriend have to look for another gift.. so sorry sweety..but it still three whole weeks till our day, you can just think of a better idea but don't tell me.. i might ruin it for you again :p
you were so nice when i told you my mom buy me that kate spade organizer that i whine and whine and whine for a whole week hehehehe and you just said that you're so happy for me even when i saw you glaring full of hatred to my new organizers lol =)) I Love You Sweety :p hope you find that new idea!!
good God i wrote a horribly boring story and i freakin don't care cause i wanna go homee!!!! i want to go to sleep in my bed :((

It's 1 PM , 4 more hours!!

tired,

gerbera_iris

A very Old Story Chapter II

well after that slow-motion-at-the-sidang thing, nothing much really happened between me and him..i sense that is not a big deal and so it doesnt cross my mind again until after he became my boyfriend and that's a different story :p
we still chat even if we don't meet anymore and i still tell him everything mostly about my relationship..he help me a lot..and i tell him so many secrets about my relationship that we have our own secret code when we chat, not a bunch of code word but just what will he says when he's in front of the computer.. i don't wanna tell all of my secret to somebody who pretended to be him using his computer and ID. that will be just creepy.
As time went on, i started to depend on him too much as a friend. i go to him from the smallest problem possible to the biggest one.. if I'm not remembering wrong once or twice i tried to keep my distance from him either before we graduated or after we graduated.. before we graduate, it's much more simple to keep a distance cause we didn't chat every single day or night :p and I'm occupied with my own relationship anyway. but after graduation, while in skripsi to be exact, its just impossible not to tell him everything..not to ask for his opinions or not to blabber about my problem to him cause i had to many problems with my relationship at that time. the reason i tried to keep a distance was because that my (ex) boyfriend doesn't really like me hanging too close to him. i can understand at that time, i have a boyfriend but I'm more relax with my best friend. sometimes in my mind, that me and him are friends (or best friends or whatever) so it's normal to be relax right?
case in point, i do have a guy friend now.. although not as close like me and him then,but i still feel the same relax like i use to feel with him.
Anyway, I'm glad i didn't tried too hard to keep my distance cause the storm that coming ahead in my relationship ( that's too dramatic lol ). after graduation, i started to work and that kinda cause a strain in my relationship with my (ex) boyfriend. i'm too busy in work and i neglected my (ex) boyfriend but he also sometimes put soo much preassure on me.. well it's two way mistake. so when he finally ask for a break, i said yes. and ofcourse who else i turn into besides my future boyfriend.. i tell him every single detail, he just listened and give some comment now and then. but when i asked should i ended my relationship with my (ex) boyfriend, he never give me an ansewer. he always said that this is my decision and he don't want to make this decision for me. as for me, i already know what my decision even without asking him.. i break up with my (ex) boyfriend .. and when i tell him, he just said that as long as i made the decision all by myself, he would support me. but he also said that i will get back together with my ex in about 1 or 2 month ( he soo doesn't have faith in me as his best friend lol).
my ex and i spent 3.5 years together, breaking up is hard but for me it's just hard the first 3 weeks,part of it maybe because i still in contact with my ex. as time goes buy, i learn to love being single..having so many close guy friends and just being free apparently suites me..even if i'm only single for 3 months or so :p
at "my single days" i learned to develop to a bunch of new crush..man crush hehehehe there's my coworkers (yes not just one coworker hahaha), then this guy in australia, and of course there's this some guy who i like to call my best friend ;) i don't know when..probably around january, one or two month after i broke up with my ex, i suddenly realize.. "i think i have a little crush to my best friend" and it became "i think i really like my best friend" until in the end it became "i know i really really have a huge feeling for my best friend" oh i tell this crush to one of my other close friend from college. i think this is when i kinda stop looking at him as just my best friend, i started to consider him as a boyfriend even if i know all his flaws and he know all my darkest secrets and even when i know at that time that me and him as a couple is an impossibilty ( that's for chapter III hehehehehe)
and that saga of bestfriends - not dating bestfriends - jealousy - hiding feeling - denial - started.. and just like Katharine mcphee said

It's a typical love story
Started out as friends
We met way back when
This is just a typical love story
The boy you never wanted just steals your heart
I never saw it comin' till I fell so hard

I always made up some excuse
Saying you that weren't my type
Didn't want to face the truth
Didn't want to cross that line

'Til one day I saw you
Out of the corner of my eye
You were flirting with some girl
And inside I thought I would die
-Love Story

i didn't blame my ex to think that i already like my boyfriend before we broke up . he's my best friend after all and we're so close but i know the difference and snybody didn't need to be so judgemental.. in the end, i know the difference between me liking someone and me being somebodies best friend.. and i do start to have different feeling for him after i ended my relationship.

See you in chapter III huney.. i'm going to tell your stories with your ex's, and our oh-so-weird start of our relationship :D

Love Story,

gerbera_iris

A Very Old Story Chapter I

This was an old story, a very old Story that started about 4 years a go..i write this for me so that i can remind myself how lucky i am and so i don't forget what we've been through.. Yes this is about me and him :p
There's this song that i just heard and it remind me of us..

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed 
Jason Mraz - Lucky

I life and breath those lyrics for the past (almost) two years.. no one hardly ever read my blog besides my boyfriend so this is one also for my 2 years anniversary gift.. hmm not a gift actually just a story..

it started about four and a half years ago when I'm in my 4th semester, he (my future boyfriend :p) got the same exact schedule as me.. first impression "damn, this guy is kinda hot" hehehehe mind you i didn't have the same class with my (ex) boyfriend at that time, so no harm in looking for some eye candy right? hehehehehe but in all fairness, he was just really an eye candy at that time, no deep feeling at all. i am a loyal girlfriend until the very end believe it or not. Anyway nothing really happen in 4th semester, after a while i'm just using him to get good grades in database lab (it works :D). 5th semester in the other hand, that's a whole different story.
at fifth semester, me, him, my (ex) boyfriend and my other friend ended up in the same class..i really don't think that anything will be different from the last semester, oh am i so wrong. we all started hanging out together and despite all the thing i thought i knew about him well let's just say i apparently create a personality for him. "simple fact : creating a personality is imagining how someone personality is when you don't really know that person" and that everybody is exactly what i did. he started to tease me in front of our other friend, and i think he push one button in me that bothered me a little so i tease him back. and for as long as i can remember our whole semester together (5 to 8), we spent it with teasing each other.. i don't know about him but i really really enjoyed it all, in a way we became friends because of it and my opinion about him drastically change..from this cool and calm guy to this annoying but friendly guy, i like the second one better :p
I don't know since when (i think the sixth or seven semester when we don't have a class together) but we started to chat online.. chatting about classes, friends, papers and after that we just started to talking about nothing, we just keep talking and talking and talking...and by that time i had a lot of problem with my (ex) boyfriend and he really get me through it..he gave me faith that my (ex) boyfriend just doing the best for me and probably just don't know how to show it.. i can't count how many times he save my relationship at that time..and i listen when he tells me about his wacky dreams (and his dreams were really really wacky and tacky lol), about his fears (some are quite funny :p), his likes, his dislike and even his past relationships. at one point we even chat from 10 PM until 4 AM, that's when the world cup i think..in time he became my best friend, i can tell him anything while we're chatting but oddly when we meet face to face and when we hang out with our friends we just back to teasing each other and no mention about our little chat the night before.
Then one day it hit me..this guy is my best friend in college, a friend that i can tell everything even something serious and we can still joke about it.. many many times we started chat about my relationship problem with me mopping around all sad and depressed and at the end of our chat he can cheer me up whether he did it by making a joke about my problem, give me advice or even just listening to me blabbering.. don't get me wrong, once or twice he messed up with unappropriate joke but that's what friends do right? and he really can be a very very annoying guy :p
i remember this one time i had a huge fight with my (ex) boyfriend, so huge that i cried in my office. so i called him and asked him can he get online cause i really needed a friend.. and ofcourse no more than 10 minutes he's online. what i don't know is that he had to go to a warnet to be online :p he is such a good friend.
Anyway, one of the things that makes me want to do my thesis with him is so that i can keep being his friend..i am so insecure about that friends thingy.. i ask him probably a dozen times "will we still be friend if we already in work?", "you wont forget me as your friend right?", etc hehehehe he always tell me that just let it flow..friends are friends oh and his signature "iyeee gue temen lo..ngapain si nanya kaya gituan mulu" .. i am not good at keeping frends so i really wanna protect the one i had. especially the one who can understand my corkyness :p and that 8th semester (thesis) really had a lot of good and bad memory.. as usual i always fight with my (ex) boyfriend and at night i always tell him all my problem in YM.. this happen almost every day but he can be so annoying when he didn't do his job in the thesis sometimes or when he do something irresponsible that makes me just want to strangled him hehehhe but in the end we just have a laugh about it.
see why i so afraid to lose this friend? cause i already think him as my best friend, this guy who in front of him i don't need to be "jaim" or watch my manner or afraid to said something wrong that will make him mad. a best friend who knows all my deepest darkest secret and i mean darkessttt :D
then this thing happen..this thing on my Sidang Skripsi..after we finish and waiting for the announcement about our grades, he is so worry cause he did a couple mistakes and i really try to cheer him up even if he didn't notice it. when they tell us our grade ( i got an A and he got a B ) i so look him with this dagger stabbing eye "I TOLD YOU SO, you don't need to worry.." and then we celebrate with congratulate each other in that exam room. and as we stepped out the room, our friends already waiting to congratulate the 3 of us.. and..he kinda hug me..not that real hug, a side hug.. his left hand just suddenly hug my shoulder and this moment just stop..you know when everything around you became so slow and your heart just stop..thats exactly what happen injust about 3 or 4 seconds hug but that really affect me..and then he just casually pat my head and then go on to our other friends.. after that i'm just thingking am i the only one who feel that slow motion happen? dear God I really am getting a little bit crazy hehehe ( owwhh this slow motion doesn't happen often to me.. i only remember 2 or 3 and this is one of them. i dont think you know the other one sweety :p)
well .. i'm going to continue another time in the part II LOL..oh i didn't cheat from my (ex) boyfriend after all this nor did i have a deep feeling for my future boyfriend in case anybody wondering :p

by the way, you asked me why i wanted to get married..
i haven't answered it but i will huney..soon :p

Lucky,

gerbera_iris

Please don't read this if you don't want to read cheesy and lovey dovey things :p

Okay it's january and i haven't finish my last post but oh well :p this last few days i feel like i'm being selfish well not feel, i know i'm being selfish..i dont know why but i really feel unease this week..mostly because my new work place..i really really had a hard time adjusting in new place..very very hard,like in my last workplace..it took me more than 3 month to adjust..and this time i don't have him to make this go easier and faster..i really miss him, i miss going lunch with him, i miss walking home with him, i miss taking the busway with him, i miss bickering to him for every single thing :(( yes this job is better but until this minute i just feel misreable..i miss my freakin work..i miss my old freakin crappy work..i know it will be better in the end but for now i just want to bicker..anyway,back to the topic about selfish :p because of all that misreable feeling i had,ofcourse my boyfriend is the one who have to deal with me..i bicker about my work and he just give me all the support he can give without yelling or anger (well that is when i'm not overly negative)..when i know that he also trying to find a better job like mine i should be gratefull..
And other selfish thing i did was when i said that other guy is cute or handsome or a guy made me feel excited, he's mad but not in the way that it will hurt me badly or made me feel guilty..i'm still thankfull that he feel jealous but he really should tell me that he's jealous :p
i hope this selfish thing doesn't last long though,i dont know how much more my boyfriend can take hehehe
i really love him dearly and i sure hope his love is big enough to handle this side of me hehehe
sorry for this bad writing huney..writing a blog in the phone is so not good :p

love you always :-*