Not Ready To Make Nice

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

dixie chicks - not ready to make nice

i'm sorry...

to all my friends who chat with me today well on february 13th...i'm so sorry for being so b**chy..and annoying..and hyper sensitive..and mad for no reason..and acting crazy..and laughing like a lunatic..and yelling..well all more then my usual self..just not in a good mood..a very very bad mood..i tell you the reason but then it's a women thing..anyway..bare with me for this week okay hehehehe i'm not really mad at you guys..

to cappuletkhan =>thanks for the dvd..really entertaining hehehehe

gerbera_iris

spinning day today!!

it's a hard day for work and health..

well as you all knows how stupid i am, i dont use my umbrella when is raining thingking i will be fine..and well i'm not fine..my head hurt like somebody spin it 200 times..i feel like i'm going to vommit and i got a lot of work..i usually dont take meds a lot but this is an emergency situation..1 panadol didnt do it but 2 kinda make it easier at least makes me finish my work in time..still dizzy i have to go home but thank god i'm not alone..thanks for letting me rest my head for a little while..the bus is kinda spinning like crazy or is it just me??ahahhaha

now nothing change...head keep hurting and spinning..feel sick and guess whatt people??!! i have to be in the office at 6 am in the morning..

gerbera_iris

there you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me

For always
In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life

gerbera_iris

a package?

i guess you know when you feeling something to someone..that tingling feeling when you see him, when he text you,when he say hi to you in the messenger, oh and when he look at you with this weird expression in his face.. your heart just jump around everywhere..
but do you know how hurt it is when he dissapointed you or when he ignores you...
learning from my personal experience that both come together like a package hahahaha..
but i guess we just have to enjoy it...
by the way this post made last friday just forgot to post it from the office..

gerbera_iris

untitled

do you know how much pain i feel right now..like somebody has taken me to heaven and then drop me from there..well the heaven thing is only a metaphore but you understand what i mean..

but my friend ask me..which one will you choose?to feel that kinda joy and happiness for just a minute and know that it will hurt you in the end or never feel anything, not pain, joy or happiness just protect my hearts from all harms way? hmm..i can answer this in a jiffy without any hesitation, i pick joy and pain anytime hahaha..how crappy i feel now at least i have the joy and happiness memory right?hahaha well that's what i've been telling myself this past few days..

i treasure the memory for sure but is it worth the pain..well only time will tell me that..i still dont know what i really feel anyway..

can i ask you girls something..do you remember how many guys that makes you cry until now? cause i do..3 person..3 stupid guys..yup only 3..or is it too much??hahahhaha i really have no idea...but as long as they dont see me cry is fine by me!! well except when in an unreasonable situation...when i cry in front of that guy then he's out of line!!!hahahaha

well that's it for today..

gerbera_iris

do you really want to know..

do you really want to know what movie i watch three times and makes me cry three times??? ahahahhaha
okay okay..it's LILO AND STITCH 2: STITCH HAS A GLITCH..
i know i know it's ridicilous..but you said you want to know..
it's just soo sad when stitch says goodbye to lilo cause he knowhe could hurt lilo..
and then lilo sacrifice her dance competition to find stitch..
then lilo realize stitcth has gone with the plane and the plane crash..
(i'm tearing up just when i write this)
and then lilo take stitch out..
and he's dying
and and (me sobbing)
stitch says goodbye..
stitch says that lilo his best friend and dies.
lilo cries and cries and ask jamba to help..
but he said sticth had died..
and nani tried to take lilo from stitch but lilo dont want too.
(sobbing)
and lilo cries and cries and tell stitch that she's sorry she wasnt there when he needs her..
tell stitch that he is her ohana..
(sobbing like crazy!!)
and at last stitch awake and take lilo's hand..
sorry cant tell no more..
too sad..

but i just love that movie..
waiting for the fourth time!!!!!
hahahahahahahaha

gerbera_iris

nights in rodanthe..

message in a bottle, a walk to remember, the notebook and now they going to make nights in rodanthe!! it's all nicholas sparks book for your information..i love his novel and i love the movies adapted from his novel..message in a bottle is nice with kevin costner and robin wright penn..the notebook is very good with rachel mcadams and ryan gosling,they played it perfectly just like i expected but i always love a walk to rememberwith mandy moore and shane west..i cant stop watching it over and over again..
now i'm waiting for diane lane and richard gere to make the magic happens in nights in rodanthe!!
and this is the last novel i buy from nicholas sparks cause i really not interested and finally my dad bought it for me and...i cry when i read this book..hahaha i know!!!me!!cry for a book!! i just like it..
want to know more?? just go to www.nicholassparks.com

love you all!!!

gerbera_iris

(*) Best part of being single (*)

1. I can leave my phone dead for days without somebody being mad at me
2. I can go out with my girlfriends anytime I want
3. I can go out with my guyfriends anytime I want and without guilt (you know how I am with guilt)
4. I can spend more time with my mom and dad without somebody being mad about it.
5. Just being plain free to have different feelings without somebody told you what to do or what to feel..
   

Don’t get me wrong..i like having someone beside me, holding my hands and especially protect me when some guy teasing me, like some weird guys who said things like “hey beautiful,wanna come with me” (I know!!somebody really said that to me hahaha), the feeling I have when I know that he really liked me and will be there for me even if he never said anything.
Anyway, arent we talking about best part of being single? hahahaha
The point is starting from now..just take thing slow..dont think to far ahead..just enjoy this new life of yours..i’m sure something or someone good will come along..like I’m sure something good will happen to me hahaha

gerbera_iris

just so you know..

everything's good when it's fun and games but not when your heart involved..really..who planned this things to happen..

I shouldn't love you,
but I want too.
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you,
but I can't move.
I can't look away.

how to be fine when I'm not.
Cause I don't know,
how to make the feeling stop.
Just so you know

This feeling's taking control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let her win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.
I just gotta say it all before I go.
Just so you know.

It's getting hard to,
be around you.
There's so much I can't say.
Do you want me to have the feelings?
And look the other way.

And I don't know,
how to be fine when I'm not.
Cause I don't know,
how to make the feeling stop.
Just so you know.

This feeling's taking control of me,
and I can't help it.
I won't sit around,
I can't let her win now.
Thought you should know,
I tried my best to let go of you,
but I don't want too.

This emptiness is killing me,
I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long.
Looking back I realize,
it was always there,
just never spoken.
I'm waiting here,
been waiting here.
Just so you know,
this feeling's take control of me,
and I can't help it.

well that's a little lyric from jesse mcartney - just so you know ..with a little change from me hahaha..i just like that song..do you think it's connected to my feeling? you guess okay??!hahaahaha

gerbera_iris

in the busway...

hahahahaha....

i ride trans jakarta or so we called busway today with my friend..and i bet after this he doesnt want to take it with me again hahahahaha or maybe he wont take busway for life hahahahaha..

well first of all today is raining hard and traffic jam everywhere..so we figure busway is not going to get any problem with the traffic..well we're right but forget the human factor, there is soo many people there hahaha we waited for half an hour probably in bank indonesia terminal until we decided to go to monas terminal first then take the bus from there...oh and me the-know-it-all girl said "gak kok ga bayar lagi" hahaha how wrong i am!!! oh and when we going to take the bus to monas, i leave him in the bank indonesia terminal!!!!!hahahahhaha well imagining me panic thats not really weird...

okay so i waited for him in the next bus..and then we take the busway..it's sooo crowded that i didnt get anything to hang on too so i hang on to his bag..oh and i know how heavy i am hhahahahaha...and dont forget we almost miss our exit terminal hahahahahha..to make it worst, the usual road isn't even having any traffic jam..well maybe a little but not much..

so sorry bro' and thanks...

Via

At this moment..

at this moment, i dont feel so good..i dont know if it's just my feeling or is it a sign for something..one thing i know..this time i feel anger, jealousy,pain and everything bad..i know..i'm such a drama queen..but that's how i feel and just wanna say something about it..
anyway..i think i kinda know what make me feel down like this but i cant share this one in this blog or to anybody..let's just say it's so pathetic of me..involving me hurting myself (not physically) and having too much hope on something that I KNOW is impossible..the thing is i like this situation..cause it's good when the ball is in my court but it's in somebody else the pain is sooo badddd..hmm what the heck am i talking about!!!!
but what's life without a little hope and dream?even if it's hurt like somebody crush your heart like a bug..

well at least my day is not so bad since this nice guy offer me his jacket..thanks a lot ya mas..so freezing here.. and so hungrryyyy right nowwww...

gerbera_iris